Chapter 1 - The decision to have another child

If everything had gone as planned, I wouldn't even be a "Father after 40." My wife Desiree and I started talking about having another child not long after my son Sean was born in 2000. We probably had an intellectual understanding how difficult that could turn out to be, but we weren't emotionally prepared. By this time we were both in our late 30s, and our collective biological clock was winding down. Des works in genetics, so we were all too aware of some of the increased risks that advanced parental age brings.

But the desire to have another child was so strong in both of us that we decided to keep trying despite a string of pregnancy tests lining our trashcan showing only one blue line.

"Sean was my motivation," Desiree says. "I am an only child, and I never wanted Sean to be an only child." Sean had also asked for a sibling. My wife likes to tell the story of him watching Dragon Tales and turning to her and saying "Mom, Cassie has 72 brothers and sisters. Why can't I have just one?"

It seems like a simple question, but it led to hours of heartbreak. We wanted it to happen, so did Sean, but it just wasn't happening. Time seemed to have caught up with us. By the spring of 2005, we were near the end of trying. It had already taken an unspoken toll on me and my wife, physically and emotionally. Could we try again? We took a new tack. We had spent a lot of time talking about the clinical aspects of trying to get pregnant - the best times, the cycles, all the things we could do to maximize the possibility. This time I set all that aside in my mind and just pray for it. Pray often and pray hard. It's easy to get distracted by all the fertility numbers - when having a baby becomes a problem to solve, instead of what a baby truly is, a miracle to be celebrated. Forget for a moment all the numbers and the expert advice - God knew what was in our hearts and could make it happen if He wanted.

The next pregnancy test was positive.

"We waited until my first ultrasound to tell Sean about the pregnancy," Desiree says. "When he came into that dimly lit room, I pointed to the blinking dot on the monitor and said 'That's your baby brother or sister's heart beating.' Yes, I had a baby in my tummy. The expression on his face lit up that dark room!"

Tomorrow - Joy interrupted.