An older dad, a miracle baby

How could you not be moved by the story of Amillia Taylor, the tiny baby born after just under 22 weeks in her mommy's tummy? She was less than 10 inches long, and weighed under 10 ounces, when she was born in October. She has spent most of her life in the NICU since then but was released to go home for the first time yesterday. What a joyful day for a baby who had little chance of survival. She is believed to be one of the youngest preemies to survive. A typical gestation is about 37 to 40 weeks. My daughter was born at 35 weeks, and even at that age still had to spend time in the NICU before coming home. Although we were told she was never in any immediate danger, it was scary to have her hooked up to so many tubes, and it was sad when she couldn't come home straight from the hospital nursery. I can't begin to imagine what four months in the NICU was like.

I asked my wife what she thought of Amillia's story, and she said "Every family has a miracle. Look within your own family because miracles are there."

According to the Miami Herald the mother is 37 and the father is 46, and Amillia was conceived with the help of in vitro fertilization.

It could be argued - and in fact is being argued now on some other blogs - the the benefits of bringing a young baby into the world this way need to be weighed against the potential risks, which this case makes clear. Some have argued that adoption would have been a better choice than IVF for the Taylors (and in their defense, they are also in the process of adopting a 16-year-old daughter.) Any thoughts?

More on autism

In September, I noted a study that found the risk of children with autism rises with advanced paternal age, the results of which some in the autism community have questioned. Today the results of a new study were made public which indicates that the brain disorder may be linked to genetics in a more complex way than previously known.

You can get information on the new study at www.autismspeaks.org

Also, Sunday's New York Times featured a story on autism's impact on unaffected siblings. The upshot: The experience lead some siblings to become more mature and caring than their peers.

Not exactly a role model for older fatherhood

How can I get Zsa Zsa Gabor and Anna Nicole Smith into a blog about older dads? Easy, thanks to Gabor's husband, Prince Frederic Von Anhalt, 59, who has thrown his hat into the ring surrounding the paternity of Smith's infant daughter. According to published reports, the prince said: "My wife says, 'If you bring a baby home then it's over.' If my wife wants to divorce me then it's up to her." Von Anhalt and Gabor, who is 90, have been married for more than 20 years. The prince claims the baby is the result of a long-running affair with Smith.

I think what has drawn people into the paternity case here, aside form the sheer celebrity factor, is that we all know there's an unknowable number of children out there who would love to have dads fighting to embrace them instead of ditch them, but they don't stand to inherit millions as Smith's daughter does. Is that what's motivating people to come forward in this case? I don't know, only the three men involved do. Hopefully they're motivated by the fatherly love they all claim is driving them. I wish the best for young Dannielyn - here's hoping this spectacle ends quickly and she ends up with a loving dad who will do his best to provide a secure and stable home for her. I'm also glad she's too young to see what's going on around her.

Music for dads (and everyone) from Rodney Atkins

"Watching You," a song by Rodney Atkins about a father's influence on his young son, has been No. 1 on the country charts for a couple of weeks running now. You can view the video at his website, www.rodneyatkins.com - just click "Launch the media player" tab. If you haven't seen it already, I would check it out. Kind of like Harry Chapin's "Cat's in the Cradle," it's a good reminder of how much influence we parents have on our childrens' lives, but this song is a lot more upbeat and has a good sense of humor. (Where "Cat's in the Cradle" was a total downer, even as a kid it bummed me out.) Trust me, you don't have to be a country music fan to enjoy this one.

A Plum interview

Last week I interviewed Mary Jane Horton, editor in chief of Plum Magazine. Plum is a pregnancy magazine for the 35-and-older mom. It comes out twice a year, and is available at Borders and Barnes & Noble, as well as their website, www.plummagazine.com. Horton is an older mom herself - she had a son at 36 and a daughter at 40. She said the world is embracing the concept of older parenting. If you want to hear more from her, I have attached some audio files of our interview.

We talked about how Plum Magazine came about and what makes it different from a typical pregnancy mag.
Click here for her description. (1:58 minutes)

As I've noted before on this blog, there is an emerging concept of a male "biological clock," similar to what has been talked about for women for years. I asked her if, given that there are some genetic risks to being an older parent, if she was worried that she might be advocating for something that may have an adverse effect on the child. "I don't think when you're talking about from 35 to 45, no," she said. "I do worry about it older than that." But knowing at what age should there be cause for concern is difficult, she said. She suggested that prospective older parents talk to their doctors about the risks and benefits.
Hear more of her answer here. (1:15 minutes)

The magazine has information about healthy pregnancies, birthing information, and taking care of the child from birth to about six months. What can a man get out of the magazine? Men don't tend to read a lot about pregnancy, she said (how true!), but the magazine offers good, fact-checked information any parent can use. There's also a men's photo essay.
Hear more about the magazine here. (2:27 minutes)

To hear the full interview (about 9 minutes) click here.