tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-333390472024-03-14T07:28:49.252-04:00JournalNow.com: Fathers After 40Being a dad is a big job, and being an older dad can make things even more interesting. I know, I'm not only an older dad myself but the child of older parents. That's why I wanted to create a place for us to share ideas, thoughts and news. Maybe you're an older dad too, having a child later in life or adding to the family. Or maybe you're the wife of an older father, or a child of one. Everyone with a perspective is welcome.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger98125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-37723781872681368862011-09-21T09:51:00.003-04:002011-09-21T10:01:55.155-04:00Please visit our new site at fathersafter40.comFathers After 40 has a new domain and a revamped site. Please check us out our new site fathersafter40.com where we will continue the conversation about the life-changing experiences of being an older dad or of being the child of older parents.<div><br /></div><div>Join us now at fathersafter40.com<br /> <div><br /></div><div>Paul "Daddy G." Garber</div></div>Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-24473834730098174872007-11-14T13:39:00.000-05:002007-11-14T13:45:00.292-05:00We've moved<p><span style="color: #990000;font-size:24px;"><strong>Fathers After 40 can now be found <a href="http://www.journalnow.net/index.php/fathersafter40/" title="Fathers After 40">here</a>.</strong></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-25418470564279388732007-11-05T13:49:00.000-05:002007-11-05T14:02:08.425-05:00Can we help this expectant father?I got a post on a recent topic that I felt deserved a post of its own. Here it is:<br /><br /><i>On our 20th anniversary, my wife and I found out she was pregnant. I am 46 she is 45. We have a 16 year old daughter and a 13 year old son. We both are scared about being older parents and need help.</i><br /><br />That must have been quite the anniversary surprise! My parents went through that as well - my mother and father were in their 40s when my brother and I came along, and had already raised three kids. I was still in college when my mother retired at 65. There were some advantages of being the late arrival, particularly in terms of stability. Most of my older siblings moved frequently in their youths as my dad went from job to job, while I spent my entire childhood in one neighborhood.<br /><br />But I recognize as well that for the parents there are also significant downsides. I guess the key question is - what about being an older parent scares you?<br /><br />Anyone else with thoughts?Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-27499501724364579692007-10-31T11:43:00.000-04:002007-10-31T12:28:14.336-04:00No room for the changing table on the campaign bus<i>More from my semi-regular, semi-serious coverage of the '08 presidential campaign featuring an unprecedented number of older dads.</i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxQBmjRaM6VTFKUTuV6enhLrNBc7ifdZZ01fv3kpk4g7Bty-GFFYEoYfIPGo95ENpqDfwwUxCmLHZLoaLlZXVVD4pUgj9BQ6PN8XcBT8FmJUBe7sSKfSNP0QVpbqsZzkffcQS9/s1600-h/wives.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127531844125545346" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxQBmjRaM6VTFKUTuV6enhLrNBc7ifdZZ01fv3kpk4g7Bty-GFFYEoYfIPGo95ENpqDfwwUxCmLHZLoaLlZXVVD4pUgj9BQ6PN8XcBT8FmJUBe7sSKfSNP0QVpbqsZzkffcQS9/s320/wives.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />A group of five would-be first ladies recently joined host Maria <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Shriver</span> for a Conference on Women in Long Beach, Calif.<br /><br /><br />I loved a quote from Jeri Thompson, wife of candidate and older dad Fred Thompson. During the conference, Jeri spoke indignantly about being asked to join the campaign bus, but being told there was no room for a changing table. (The couple have a son, Samuel, who is still in diapers.)<br /><br />Jeri Thompson says she remembers responding "I'm not going unless they find room for the changing table."<br /><br />Amen - you gotta have the changing table if you're making a long trip with baby. That didn't stop the quote from ending up as fodder on "The Daily Show." Jon Stewart ran a clip from the convention with Thompson's quote, then adds "...and that's how the world learned Fred Thompson wears a diaper." <a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=127610&title=wives-debate">You can watch for yourself here</a>, with that particular quote coming about two minutes into the clip. Standard language warning applies.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><i> Photo: One of these things is not like the other...(L-R) Jeri Thompson, Michelle <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Obama</span>, Ann Romney, Elizabeth Edwards, and Cindy Hensley McCain pose together after speaking at the California Governor and First Lady's Conference on Women on Oct. 23. Romney is the only one who did not have a child near the time or after their husband turned 40. AP Photo by Matt <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Sayles</span></i>Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-18648981588410276672007-10-24T17:05:00.000-04:002007-10-24T17:38:55.641-04:00New Autism web video toolWe've talked a lot about autism as a potential risk factor for older dads - in fact it could be argued that coverage of the autism study that showed the link led to the (long overdue) wave of coverage about the "male biological clock" phenomenon.<br /><br />To many people, the spectrum of disorders associated with autism have been somewhat difficult to understand. What do they mean, for example, when they talk about such things as deficits in social reciprocity? Even if you can wrap your mind around the concept, you may not be sure if you're seeing those behaviors in your child.<br /><br />If you're looking for help, there's a great new tool at the <a href="http://www.autismspeaks.org/video/glossary.php">Autism Speaks Web site </a>- an autism "video glossary" that helps explains some of the terms used in discussing autism. What I really like about the video glossary is that they have videos of "typical behaviors" in normally developing kids next to videos of similar behaviors that are acted out differently in kids who are showing red flags for autism. It really helps make some of the language much clearer to be able to see it.<br /><br />You do have to register to use the site, but it's simple, just providing a name e-mail and password. I spent quite a bit of time on the site today and feel like I understand autism much better for having <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">done</span> so.Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-9701959600220128732007-10-18T11:21:00.000-04:002007-10-18T12:23:34.167-04:00Father figures, part 2: Nick Nolte vs. Scott BaioThe New York Daily News recently ran a story under the headline <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2007/10/13/2007-10-13_grandpa_dads_are_latest_thing.html">"'Grandpa dads' are the latest thing,</a>" about the supposed trend for late-life men having kids. They used Nick Nolte, 66, as one example. Nolte had a baby girl this month. Congrats to him.<br /><br />But to talk about that as being part of a demographic trend, I'm here to tell you t'aint so. Actually, if you use Nolte as an example, there really is no trend for late-life dads having kids, in fact, despite high-profile cases such as Nolte and GOP presidential candidate Fred Thompson (see below) the phenomenon of men over 55 having children in some groups is actually decreasing. If you have to have a celebrity older dad, a better choice for poster boy may be Scott Baio, who at 45 is expecting his first child. (and is, in fact, used to being a poster boy.)<br /><br />How do I know this? <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr55/nvsr55_01.pdf">The CDC recently released its latest report on nationwide births,</a> which covers the year 2004. As in previous years, the trend for men having children later in life is continuing. The following figures are based on live births per 1,000 men. The number of births in the 35-39 age group increased from 60.2 to 61.7. Also increasing, but less dramatically, was for the 40-44 age group, which rose from 23.4 to 23.9. Baio's age group, 45-49, also saw a slight increase.<br /><br />Looking at the larger trend, going back 20 years, in 1984 there were 46 in the 35-39 age group and only 17.8 in the 40-44 group. (all of this is in table 21 of the report)<br /><br />The CDC lumps everyone over 55 in one age group. That has remained steady for more than ten years, at 0.3 births per 1,000. Sorry, Nick Nolte, there won't be a lot of your same-aged peers pushing strollers down the red carpet. For white males, the number actually dipped for the first time in more than a decade, down to 0.2Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-27584042500691383342007-10-16T15:01:00.000-04:002007-10-16T15:32:36.256-04:00Latest on the Male Biological Clock issueAs a reader pointed out in a post last week, Psychology Today has taken up the male biological clock issue in an article titled <a href="http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20070830-000004.xml">A Man's Shelf Life</a>, written by Mark <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Teich</span>. There's been much written about the risks of later fatherhood in the last year, but this is among the best I've seen and I'm grateful that it was brought to my attention.<br /><br />Here's the paragraph that sets up the story, what we in the newspaper business refer to as the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">nutgraf</span>:<br /><br /><i>Scientists have long known that advanced paternal age (like increased maternal age) played some role in fertility problems and birth defects. Yet because the reports mainly involved children who died before birth or who had extremely rare disorders, no one really rang the alarm. Now, with new studies linking the father's age to relatively frequent, serious conditions like autism, schizophrenia, and Down syndrome, the landscape is shifting. </i><br /><br />Here's a good bit of advice I haven't seen in many of the other stories:<br /><br /><i>For men, the findings may be, above all, a clarion call to take better care of themselves. "This should make men reconsider their role and responsibility in childbearing," says Barbara <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Willet</span>, of the Best Start childhood resource center in Ontario, Canada. "Aging in men is an important issue, but health is the key issue. It's as if we're suddenly aware that men who want to be fathers need to be healthy, too."</i><br /><br />and the related conclusion:<br /><br /><i>Men can't rewind their biological clocks, but they can slow them down, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Fisch</span> agrees. Just remember, once you're in your 40s, you're past your maintenance-free years—you have to take care of yourself. "If you want children from then on," he advises, "get into the best shape of your life."</i><br /><br />[<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Fisch</span> refers to Harry <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Fisch</span>, director of the Male Reproductive Center at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in New York City and author of The Male Biological Clock.]<br /><br />While we're on the topic, there's one thing I'd like to point out about my interview with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">ABCnews</span>.com. I had a fairly lengthy interview with the reporter, and only a little bit of that was used. That's not a problem, as a reporter I do that to people all the time and I knew going into the interview that it was likely to happen. Plus, you could argue it really wasn't on-topic for a story that was about politics, not genetics.<br /><br />Anyway, the point I made during our discussion was that the risks of being an older dad may be a recent <i>media</i> phenomenon but it is not a recent <i>scientific</i> phenomenon. The link has been known by geneticists for years. In fact, the advisory on advanced paternal age by the American College of Medical Genetics goes back at least to 1996. You can <a href="http://www.acmg.net/StaticContent/StaticPages/Paternal_Age.pdf">read that here</a>. So even if it didn't make the story, I felt like it was worth mentioning here.Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-13724805771925955582007-10-10T11:41:00.000-04:002007-10-10T12:12:07.822-04:00More than PTA: Group focuses on dads' skills to help school<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijvpwCU2uaREu_1Xuw8O5VuY3c_NBCb-cJh1dr-86XOUIwn0pnTQxUZ6Nf4FH-Cmm_TxYCixBXuEb8XB0vlXpMCfxUAj5NrbP87rB2lPjPtDs-Q6eldcNkfFhuycZnVCkuNkO0/s1600-h/florencefathers.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5119734478915598882" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijvpwCU2uaREu_1Xuw8O5VuY3c_NBCb-cJh1dr-86XOUIwn0pnTQxUZ6Nf4FH-Cmm_TxYCixBXuEb8XB0vlXpMCfxUAj5NrbP87rB2lPjPtDs-Q6eldcNkfFhuycZnVCkuNkO0/s320/florencefathers.bmp" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><br /><p>Here's an idea I really like.</p><p>A group of dads have gotten together at <a href="http://schoolcenter.gcsnc.com/education/school/school.php?sectionid=16">Florence Elementary School </a>in north High Point (just over the Guilford County line from here) to help provide positive male role models for the kids and to give dads a way to pitch in beyond the PTA.</p><p>Today I talked to Gregg Schlaudecker, one of the founders of the group. He said the plan is modeled after a similar program at Morehead Elementary, which is also in the Guilford County school system. </p><p>Schlaudecker said the organization allows men to help the school using the skills that come with being a father. Members have done things like "lunch buddies," which pairs dads with students who need a positive role model. The group has also helped with the landscaping around the school, doing some of the "heavy lifting" end of beautification, he said. Others have gone into the classroom for career presentations.</p><p>It's all about making sure that dads are a visible and positive force in the school, Schlaudecker said. There are about 750 kids there, but the number of male employees could be counted on one hand, he said.</p><p>"It feels good getting guys involved at the school," he said.</p><p>The group started last year and has about 45 members. Schlaudecker said he's hoping to double that number this weekend - the group is holding a Dads' Club Breakfast Saturday in the school's cafeteria at 8:30 am for interested dads. Principal James McNeil is the keynote speaker. For information, send an e-mail to <a href="mailto:dadsclub@florencepta.org">dadsclub@florencepta.org</a></p><p> </p>Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-77562297782907594832007-10-03T16:14:00.000-04:002007-10-03T17:00:13.152-04:00Newly released: "For the Love of Rachel"<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqbdPAz3c6BpIniDqSP3YNK7-H6LBdbfqcbo6Tx26QrITxJHrNq-LwEcOa6yIIN1BlZflSaaQG4Hu3ua7lEHr4rrJ5lr751JL0SQvlyWmAVt2rbC_ApJJYDJqk0vXp2UaKtLnl/s1600-h/DavidSusanPicture.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5117216051827145234" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqbdPAz3c6BpIniDqSP3YNK7-H6LBdbfqcbo6Tx26QrITxJHrNq-LwEcOa6yIIN1BlZflSaaQG4Hu3ua7lEHr4rrJ5lr751JL0SQvlyWmAVt2rbC_ApJJYDJqk0vXp2UaKtLnl/s320/DavidSusanPicture.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Last week I had the pleasure of interviewing David Loewenstein, 47, a psychologist in Florida and author of the new book "For the Love of Rachel." </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>The book is about the birth of of Loewenstein's daughter, who was born prematurely weighing just 18 ounces, and how that frightful experience changed the life of Loewenstein and his family. Rachel spent the first nine months of her life in the NICU, and there were those who thought she would never make it. Once at home, there were others who doubted that Rachel would ever walk or talk. Now she is doing grade-level work in a traditional middle school.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Through it all, Loewenstein said that Rachel's birth and the adoption of Amy, her 6-year-old sister, has made him a better father than he otherwise might have been, as well as a better psychologist, and a better person overall.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Here's what the Miami Herald said of the book:</div><br /><div></div><br /><div><i>Loewenstein tells his moving story of finding love and creating a family -- as well as coming to terms with life's challenges. Loewenstein weaves medical heroics with straight-from-the-heart emotion, giving readers a rare glimpse into the private life of a doctor and his family's brush with the fragility of human life.</i></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I have created some audio files of our interview, or you can listen to the whole interview, which is a little over 30 minutes long.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div><a href="http://extras.journalnow.com/audio/2007/garber/lowbirth.mp3">In this excerpt</a>, Loewenstein talks about Rachel's birth at 23 weeks, and some of the medical problems that resulted from her prematurity. (Running time, 1 minute, 37 seconds)</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Loewenstein talks about the <a href="http://extras.journalnow.com/audio/2007/garber/Lowbook.mp3">emotional challenges of writing the book</a> and some of the lessons he learned from the process. (2:22)</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Loewenstein describes himself as a perfectionist who once wanted to have the perfect child. But he's learned that <a href="http://extras.journalnow.com/audio/2007/garber/Loweffect.mp3">parenting is all about the love you have in your heart</a>. (0:43)</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Rachel has taught Loewenstein <a href="http://extras.journalnow.com/audio/2007/garber/Lowfather.mp3">a different way of measuring success in his children</a>. (2:25)</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>To hear the full interview, during which Loewenstein talks about his motivation for writing the book, shares stories about his daughters, and passes along what he's learned from his father, <a href="http://extras.journalnow.com/audio/2007/garber/editedfullversion.mp3">click here</a>. (33:40) </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>To find out more about the book, <a href="http://stores.homestead.com/enalan/StoreFront.bok">go here.</a></div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div><i>PHOTO: David Loewenstein with newborn daughter Rachel and wife Susan. Photo provided by the author.</i></div>Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-80267250954802501092007-10-02T16:16:00.000-04:002007-10-02T16:23:57.532-04:00The road to the White House is paved with freshly changed diapersI wrote last week about the high number of new dads among the front-runners in the '08 presidential race. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ABCnews</span>.com is running a story on their front-page on the subject today. I'm quoted near the end. I though the reporter, Susan Donaldson James, had a nice take on the issue. She and I chatted for about 10 minutes yesterday.<br /><br />Here is a <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/LifeStages/story?id=3678736&page=1">link to the story</a>.Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-71066058485267029262007-09-26T13:18:00.000-04:002007-09-26T14:23:26.471-04:00Next White House resident may be an older dad<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0O5BIWb9yFGWudmG_00Mi-D9UyBmvoHyrPpJD-2NeQFEAa49VatVqkdhEgioAShJBrDGSKyod3AvfwrgNoR9m0i8I4MLmOKItvZN-gr_GBFqqiX3309G9ZDBfnkHVL316pFyI/s1600-h/fred+thompson+family.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5114576291912579586" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0O5BIWb9yFGWudmG_00Mi-D9UyBmvoHyrPpJD-2NeQFEAa49VatVqkdhEgioAShJBrDGSKyod3AvfwrgNoR9m0i8I4MLmOKItvZN-gr_GBFqqiX3309G9ZDBfnkHVL316pFyI/s320/fred+thompson+family.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiznPeKFWmyjubUdUU11kEZXKspxwKeAY6EsszJahVU9biEHj_MOV1BTgRU37RAvvbYGSFpkI0886Gu8bv6toyI7Th0uloNi3Rc8-4dWcTo6ak8_tMNHqjHWdrlkaLDXaTSS70A/s1600-h/fred+thompson+family.jpg"></a><br /><br /><br /><div>I noted <a href="http://journalnowdad.blogspot.com/2007/05/what-do-tony-blair-and-gordon-brown.html">back in May </a>that when Tony Blair handed over the title of British Prime Minister to Gordon Brown, it was a changing of the guard from one older dad to another.</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>Turns out that the older-dad trend for the rich and powerful isn't just a Brit phenomenon. Look at some of the front-runners among the '08 race for the presidency:</div><div> </div><div>On the Republican side, 65-year-old Fred Thompson has an infant son, Samuel. Joining him are fellow front-runners John McCain (has post-40 children both biologically and through adoption) and Rudy Giuliani. (Apparently Giuliani hasn't done as well balancing politics and parenthood - it's been widely reported that his children, now grown, do not support his bid for the presidency.)</div><div></div><br /><div>Among the Democratic hopefuls, John Edwards, 54, had two children after he turned 40 - daughter Emma Claire, 9, and son Jack, 7. Barak Obama (b. 1961) had his second daughter, Sasha, in 2001. I'm not sure if he had hit 40 yet or not, but close enough in my book.</div><div></div><br /><div>Not everyone is enthusiastic about watching older candidates schlep around their young children on the campaign trail. Here's a take from a recent column by NYT columnist Gail Collins, written shortly after Thompson entered the race:</div><div></div><br /><div><i>It's not unusual for wealthy men to decide they can dive into fatherhood and Social Security at the same time. This presidential field is awash with candidates of late-middle-age whose kids can still qualify for Breakfast with Santa. But none are quite so old or have children quite so young as Thompson's. And these days it's hard for an overage dad to get away with absentee fatherhood, especially when mom is intimately involved in the management of his campaign, as Jeri Thompson, seems to be... Maybe the combination of kids and campaigning has left him too ground down to glad hand. Too pooped to pander.</i></div><div></div><br /><div>Yeesh, not exactly "Father Knows Best," is it?</div><div></div><br /><div><i>Photo: Republican presidential hopeful Fred Thompson, center, is joined on stage by family members as he campaigns in his hometown of Lawrenceburg, Tenn., Saturday, Sept. 15, 2007. At left, Thompson's wife Jeri holds their son Samuel, and daughter Hayden Victoria, 3, is 3rd from left. (AP Photo/Mark Humphrey) </i><br /></div><div></div></div></div>Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-77084275850973696202007-09-18T13:47:00.000-04:002007-09-18T14:36:53.847-04:00Whose broad stripes and bright stars, and screaming cartoons...It's Constitution Week, and my son Sean, who just turned 7, is always proud to have been born during the week that we celebrate one of the greatest works ever printed.<br /><br /><br />As part of that celebration, check out his recent version of the Star-Spangled Banner. It's sung in a number of different keys, an apparent but unspoken reference perhaps to Francis Scott Key, who wrote our national anthem.<br /><br /><table cellspacing="5" cellpadding="5" align="center" bgcolor="#c0c0c0" border="0"><br /><tbody><tr><br /><td align="middle"><p><a href="http://extras.journalnow.com/multimedia/2007/garber/singing.wmv"><img alt="Launch the video." src="http://extras.journalnow.com/multimedia/2007/garber/kids.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><strong>» WATCH THE VIDEO</strong></a> <br /><br /></span><br /><em></em></p><br /></td><br /><br /></tr><br /><br /></tbody></table><br /><br /><br /><p></p><p><br /></p><p>We're still working with him on the actual lyrics. Near as I can tell, this is the way he interpreted it:</p><i>Oh say can you see<br />By the dawn’s early light<br />What so proudly we hailed<br />By the twilight’s last gleaming<br /><br />Whose stripes and bright stars<br />Through the perilous fight<br />Those cartoons that we watched<br />Were so powerfully screaming<br />And the red rocket’s ??? glare<br />And our flag was still there<br /><br />Oh say does that Star - Spangled Banner make sense<br />Of the land of the free<br />And the home of the braves?</i><br /><br />Is there a parent out there who can't relate to the screaming cartoon reference?<br /><br />And for a great resource on Constitution Day, visit the <a href="http://hancock.constitutioncenter.org/constitutionday/display/MainS/Home">National Constitution Center</a>, made possible through the Annenberg Foundation and the Pew Charitable Trusts.Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-25274890856284044892007-09-17T11:53:00.000-04:002007-09-18T12:25:17.823-04:00Are boomer parents living as recklessly as their teens?Interesting op-ed piece in today's <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/17/opinion/17males.html">New York Times </a>adds some perspective on the risky behaviors of teens. It was written in response to recent articles in the media about research showing adolescent brains to be "immature," which sometimes leads to their risky or obnoxious behavior.<br /><br />In the piece, Mike Males, a researcher and founder of <a href="http://www.youthfacts.org/"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Youthfacts</span>.org</a>, throws it back to boomer parents and their own control problems. Males writes about Americans 35 to 54, noting that more than 18,000 died in 2004 from drug overdoses (an increase of 550 percent since 1975), they (we) have a higher risk for fatal accidents and suicides than people in the 15 to 19 age group, and adding a host of other statistics showing boomers are frequent guests of prisons and emergency rooms.<br /><br />Males notes: "What experts label 'adolescent risk taking' is really baby boomer risk taking. It's true that 30 years ago, the riskiest age group for violent death was 15 to 24. But those same boomers continue to suffer high rates of addiction and other ills throughout middle age, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">while</span> later generations of teenagers are better behaved."<br /><br />Comes with a great headline, too: This is your (father's) brain on drugs<br /><br />If you want to see a version of the story that created the original hubub, check out <a href="http://www.sciencentral.com/articles/view.php3?article_id=218392989&cat=1_4">ScienCentral News.</a>Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-82984449896902853112007-09-05T15:29:00.000-04:002007-09-05T16:02:26.515-04:00Study: It's good for women to pick older dads, to a pointInteresting study from Vienna finds that women who choose men a few years older than they are likely to have more babies than those who choose partners of the same age, according to research published last month in the British online journal Biology Letters.<br /><br />Researchers Martin <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Feider</span> and Susanne Huber looked at a sample of about 10,000 births to Swedish parents. They found that most babies were born to women whose partners were about four years older than they were. For men, the most babies were born to dads whose partner was six years younger. The authors conclude that a man's preference for a younger mate and a woman's <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">preference</span> for an older one <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">yields</span> "fitness benefits for both men and women and thus may be an evolutionarily acquired trait." Golly, not the most romantic viewpoint, is it?<br /><br />I have not read the full study ($30 to download? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">yeesh</span>...) but in media interviews, the researchers opine that males may be attracted to younger females because they will have a longer time to be fertile, while women may be attracted to older men because they are more likely to have the resources to provide for their <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">families</span>. <br /><br />The numbers don't hold up when one of the couple is significantly older than the other. At ten years difference, the number of children produced is the same as same-age couples.<br /><br />In the interest of full disclosure, I'm two years older than my wife, and we have two kids.Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-50068018708733806802007-08-27T14:05:00.000-04:002007-09-18T15:58:50.127-04:00Three of the sweetest words in the English language<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5cmkjIlEssK-KMLob6c5EJWIoy-K0eMXzDdo4DuL2QYDfFtyse4nCcdfr2A6hV0NwllmtRbUDrnEcQbqjv_xAkE_6gXC1Dxk2Kn51kclqAP39dSz7fr-XvEIII_3CalEVcbsj/s1600-h/aladaladalawhowho.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5103449605780533074" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5cmkjIlEssK-KMLob6c5EJWIoy-K0eMXzDdo4DuL2QYDfFtyse4nCcdfr2A6hV0NwllmtRbUDrnEcQbqjv_xAkE_6gXC1Dxk2Kn51kclqAP39dSz7fr-XvEIII_3CalEVcbsj/s320/aladaladalawhowho.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Yeah, "I love you" is good to hear, but "Back to school" may be the best triple-word phrase ever coined.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>It's been a long - so hot - summer, and back to school is not only a harbinger of cool times to come, but also a return to structure and whatever passes for normalcy around here. It's funny how many of the things I hated about school as a kid I now celebrate as a parent, foremost of which is the plain ol' predictable repetitiveness of it all.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Sean is going in to first grade and had a good summer. There were many valuable experiences along the way, but two really stand out in my mind.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>The first was the <a href="http://www.westsidecivictheatre.com/tab1/default.htm">West Side Civic Theatre's </a>production of the Broadway play <em>Seussical the musical</em>. Sean was one of many kids who got to play a role as residents of Whoville. The late-night practices through his whole schedule off, but of course he didn't mind. He loved the music and the stories, and really enjoyed being part of the cast and learning how a play comes together. He's still singing the songs from the show.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>The second thing that really made the summer memorable for him were two camps he took part in at the (relatively new) <a href="http://www.childrensmuseumofws.org/">Children's Museum of Winston-Salem</a>. He went to a one-week Harry Potter-themed camp and a geography camp. Both centered around stories and crafts, and he was excited about each day of camp. It's not unusual to hear him make a Harry Potter reference from camp or tell us about a story from South America or somewhere else far-flung from his world in Lewisville.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I've tried to tell Sean that he has had a very "storyful" summer. Hopefully it will be one he'll long remember. The kid in you hates to see it end. But the parent...</div><div></div><div><em>Photo: Sean (in red shirt) and other Whos during a rehearsal for the West Side Civic Theatre's production of Seussical, in June.</em></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-50239952014431616572007-08-16T10:55:00.000-04:002007-08-16T11:30:03.077-04:00Inventive dadsMy friend Jim <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Toole</span> sent me this <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/16/fashion/16dads.html?ex=1187928000&en=448881108e33e5f5&ei=5070&emc=eta1">link to a great NY Times story today</a>. It's about how the trend of dads taking a more active role in <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">their</span> children's lives have led to new inventions and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">entrepreneurial</span> opportunities for men, ideas <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">nurtured</span> by their child-raising experiences. As a guy who is still carrying around the wife's pink quilted Vera Bradley diaper bag, I say "Hallelujah."<br /><br />The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">lede</span> of the story is about Tommy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Habeeb</span>, a well-know actor, producer and a host of - how should we say - low-brow reality shows, as well as the inventor of the Water Bottle Nipple Adaptor. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Habeeb</span>, who has three kids including a 3-year-old son, is 49, according to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Wikipedia</span>. (That's my best bet, neither the story nor the biography on his web site list an age.)<br /><br />Looking for manly dad stuff? The story lists a site called <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">DadGear</span>.com, with an eye toward the more rugged, masculine products aimed at dads. Good-bye, Vera Bradley.<br /><br /><br />On a way <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">unrelated</span> note, People Magazine reports that former Olympic figure skater Scott Hamilton, 48, and wife Tracie, 37, are expecting their second child in October.Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-8935620212025209412007-08-13T14:02:00.000-04:002007-08-13T14:30:11.397-04:00New program for older students with developmental disabilities<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5izYjA3R2PZdfl97_qHvBEtfrpGVr291oSFi8nWjlATqwuXNGRyjsVMHnSlBwgGYo0PPc67IpXWa2EeJ69Y-fYEBj0XMql1dDQiZ4DKte98FxPOilvRRw_F4pptuzEbK4nxrx/s1600-h/zeke1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5098253725212815474" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5izYjA3R2PZdfl97_qHvBEtfrpGVr291oSFi8nWjlATqwuXNGRyjsVMHnSlBwgGYo0PPc67IpXWa2EeJ69Y-fYEBj0XMql1dDQiZ4DKte98FxPOilvRRw_F4pptuzEbK4nxrx/s320/zeke1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I've written often here about the fact that the joys of older parenting come with the risk of potential genetic conditions. Those risks include Down syndrome and autism. I wrote a story in today's paper about a new program where a group of eight students with developmental disabilities will be sharing an apartment with eight students from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">UNC</span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Greensboro</span>. The idea is to help the developmentally delayed students learn to live independently, with the help from a group of their typically developing peers. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div><a href="http://www.journalnow.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=WSJ/MGArticle/WSJ_BasicArticle&c=MGArticle&cid=1173352354747">Here is a link to the story</a>.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I will be following the students along during the course of the year, so I'll post updates here as they appear.</div><div> </div><div><em>Journal Photo by: Jennifer <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Rotenizer</span>: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Rasheika</span> McLean, 21, participates in a dating etiquette class on Wednesday at the Zeke House in Greensboro. The program pairs people who have developmental disabilities with students at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">UNC</span>-Greensboro.</em></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-82575693899866132572007-08-07T22:31:00.000-04:002007-08-07T22:46:35.092-04:00Can we help this daughter of an older dad?Today I got an anonymous response to a post I made in May, and since that post is kind of buried, I thought I would go ahead and make a new post out of it - here goes:<br /><br /><em>Is there a support group for children of older fathers? I'm the eldest child of a start-over-dad and have to make some tough decisions that none of my friends have made, and won't make until they are twice my age, and settled. I need some advice, on how I can take care of my aging father, without stopping my life. (I'm 27, single, and have recently started my career, and very fast feel as though I'm going to have four dependants.) I am also afraid that I don't have much time left with my father. Does anyone know where I can get some support?</em><br /><em></em><br />You've raised an important topic here - caring for older parents when they get really older. I'm facing that now. My mother is 86, and has enjoyed remarkably good health until very recently, as her gait has become unsteady and she has shown some of the other signs of aging that she has been able to keep at bay until now. Of her five children I - the youngest - live the closest to her, so I'm often running her to the doctor, or taking her to her swimming class, or otherwise just helping her navigate the world. I don't consider it a burden, it's in a way an honor to repay for all the work she did in raising me. But it does take some balancing with two kids at home.<br /><br />That said, I don't know of any sources specifically for people like us, whose parents are getting older just as we face our own milestones. I don't know where you live, but if it's local to us here in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Forsyth</span> County, NC, I can tell you from experience that Senior Services is amazingly helpful.<br /><br />I hope you find the help you're looking for, and if you find any support groups please let us now and I will certainly post again.<br /><br />Anyone else know of any groups or have any suggestions?Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-46760714953295118922007-07-30T16:06:00.001-04:002007-07-30T16:40:34.289-04:00Life with a free-range babyDelaney is walking! It started out as kind of a cross between a walk and a belly dance - like something you'd see in a David Lee Roth video - as she learned to master the unforgiving forces of gravity. Now she is able to toddle pretty much anywhere she wants, inviting a whole new element of danger into the mix. Our house has gone from plain ol' babyproofed to full-scale Fortress Garber.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix-is5k8snsavHwoUGDH3ZyUr47Y5ZMK15D_mUG5CtY5Fdj5JYC72Fv5KRnoEZSmSMvx7ng-uhcSjPDy2I5zF-_V62eKT1ACnBfyTHVJBwxfcGT22aRjfAyVhG-HuIg6arOVcc/s1600-h/DSC_02140001.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5093084431424368738" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix-is5k8snsavHwoUGDH3ZyUr47Y5ZMK15D_mUG5CtY5Fdj5JYC72Fv5KRnoEZSmSMvx7ng-uhcSjPDy2I5zF-_V62eKT1ACnBfyTHVJBwxfcGT22aRjfAyVhG-HuIg6arOVcc/s320/DSC_02140001.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDpK_hwc_G-p9OoJ4afmZ2wE6V81-oEzQ_O6nRWJzoeT09ciFxdpJMQaYxl6KwiXaw4sULcTlZDmGTJda28QnKCjCNb14Pg-CUDent6zJroO_7IGFB-xj0QkvO1lZyVWseURrH/s1600-h/DSC_02140001.JPG"></a><br /><div><br />But we welcome her move to the ambulatory world. We get to watch her transition from baby to toddler, and those changes are coming quickly now. She's very curious about words, loves to feed herself when given the opportunity, and - for the first time - is regularly sleeping through the night. </div><div> </div><div>I can remember when Sean was making that same move, things just seemed to get easier, and it was a whole lot easier putting ourselves into a toddler's world, to try to understand it as they see it and teach them from that perspective. </div><div> </div><div><em>Photo: "No, wait, don't help me, I can do it myself..."<br /></em></div><div></div>Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-60826162128032486542007-07-27T15:04:00.000-04:002007-07-27T15:37:14.439-04:00Skip Prosser<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgtlCc8ePqP_STtsFox9BhzR-Uc1I3itWkofVx_y66dBacrWtYWPy6uINWrAuPwHR0kET1e2oRBlY5TzU7HVMpXLzQpueWepLCnyDb9TpE7jntE3vqalnhA6EP4zYQwu2m97qs/s1600-h/skip.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5091962302498811970" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgtlCc8ePqP_STtsFox9BhzR-Uc1I3itWkofVx_y66dBacrWtYWPy6uINWrAuPwHR0kET1e2oRBlY5TzU7HVMpXLzQpueWepLCnyDb9TpE7jntE3vqalnhA6EP4zYQwu2m97qs/s320/skip.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>As anyone who knows me knows, my ties to Wake Forest are deep and strong. So it was a sad day yesterday as rumors of Skip <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Prosser's</span> passing were confirmed. He was a credit to the University, and not just because of what he did for the basketball team. </div><br /><div></div><div>After I graduated from Wake in '86, I left my native Winston-Salem and travelled around quite a bit, but always within <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">ACC</span> Country. During those times, the basketball team was a constant source of pride for me. Win or lose, as long as I had the team to cheer for and follow, I had an ongoing connection to my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">alma</span> mater. Today, there's nothing quite like watching my son don the black-and-gold tie-dye shirt to catch a game, or to watch little Delaney shake the plastic streamers that make up her Wake Forest pom-pom.</div><div></div><br /><div>I started getting e-mails from my fellow Deacon fans soon after the rumors started flying yesterday, trying to ascertain what I knew, which at that point wasn't much. With confirmation came sadness. I've seen coaches come and go, and their departure always brings up the question about the future of the team. When a coach dies, though, it's different. It's more personal, even if, as with me, you don't know them beyond the games. You give pause, you mourn, you realize the team will be fine and there's a time to deal with that later. </div><div></div><br /><div>I lost my father when he was about Skip's age, also to a heart attack. I thought about that a lot last night. How could I not? </div><br /><div></div><div>We have lots of coverage on <a href="http://www.journalnow.com/">http://www.journalnow.com/</a> </div><br /><div></div><em>Photo by Journal photojournalist Bruce Chapman.</em><br /><div></div><div></div><div> </div>Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-53504099586127859802007-07-16T13:17:00.000-04:002007-07-16T13:38:45.738-04:00A must-read for those considering IVF/egg donationPeggy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Orenstein</span> has written a lengthy and very compelling story in <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/15/magazine/15egg-t.html?pagewanted=1">The New York Times Magazine</a> that ran Sunday about the growth of in-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">vitro</span> fertilization using donated eggs. For the most part the growth has come from the gray end of the parental-age <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">spectrum</span>, and in fact the practice has helped extended that range. The story opens with an anecdote from a woman who, was in her mid-40s when she underwent the procedure in 1992. (Her 6<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">th</span>-grade daughter had asked her what year Mom and Dad had met their donor - now there's a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">lede</span> that will grab you! Apparently the child has known since <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">pre</span>-school about the donor.)<br /><br />Many stories about <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">IVF</span>/donation focus on the decision, not as much on what happens after baby arrives. This story looks into a lot of the issues of having a child from a donated egg, including whether or not to tell the child how they were conceived.<br /><br />On the subject of older parents, here is a quote I found fascinating:<br /><br /><em>"The birthrate among women ages 40-44 has risen 62 percent since 1990, while the rate among those in their late 40s has more than doubled. Among those who used I.V.F. in 2004, about a third of the 43-year-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">olds</span> used someone else’s eggs; by 47 years old, 91 percent did."</em><br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Orenstein</span> is the author of the memoir “Waiting for Daisy: A Tale of Two Continents, Three Religions, Five Infertility Doctors, an Oscar, an Atomic Bomb, a Romantic Night and One Woman’s Quest to Become a Mother.” In the article, she says she underwent an unsuccessful donor-egg <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">IVF</span> treatment before conceiving her daughter without the treatment.Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-47260997768698357802007-07-11T11:33:00.000-04:002007-07-11T11:53:19.084-04:00Anyone have thoughts for this post?Yesterday I got a response to a post that is a few weeks old, so I figured I'd make a new posting so people could see it and respond if they wanted to do so. Here is what was written:<br /><br /><br /><em>Chapina said...<br />This is the first time I "blog," so you'll have to pardon me if it is posted under the wrong section. I am trying to find help with an unexpected pregnancy. I am 35 years old and my husband is 55. He was blessed with two children in his prior marriage and they are now adults. We thought that this would not be part of our future. Frankly, I have been filled with the sense of panic coming from him. I know he wants me to have an abortion, but I just cannot reason this option when we love each other, we are in a financially stable situation, we are very healthy. Any thoughts? </em><br /><br /><em></em><br />Chapina, I not going to weigh in on whether or not you should keep your baby - that is a decision between you and your husband, and perhaps a marriage or family counselor or a member of your clergy can help you. Given that both of you are of advanced parental age, you may want to consider genetic counseling as well.<br /><br />Your situation brings up a lot of issues that we routinely talk about here. It's not possible to glean from your post why your pregnancy fills your husband with such panic, but that is something that will be important for you to know. It could be that he feels he's close enough to retirement that he's looking forward to a life without the day-to-day issues of raising a young child. Or perhaps, looking at costs such as college, etc, that perhaps he doesn't feel as financially secure as you do. He may also be worried about getting older and not being able to be there for his child.<br /><br />Another possibility - it's not that he doesn't want to have the child, but he's worried about potential risks that come from advanced paternal age, and he fears for the health of the baby.<br /><br />I hope it works out well for y'all. Anyone else have suggestions?<br /><br /><br /><em></em>Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-12817065511375123052007-07-03T15:32:00.000-04:002007-07-03T17:09:16.524-04:00Poll: Marry later, keep your day jobA wealth of information is coming from a newly released <a href="http://pewresearch.org/pubs/526/marriage-parenthood">PEW Research Center </a>poll on the values and behaviors related to marriage and parenthood. Much of the press about this report has been focused on the finding that only 41 percent of respondents said that children were very important to a successful marriage - a surprising drop of more than 20 percent compared to 1990. (In fact, sharing of household chores was said to be very important by more of respondents - at 62 percent, a 15 percent <em>increase</em> since 1990.)<br /><br />In scrolling through the findings, I found lots of interesting tidbits related to dads and older couples. Here are some that stand out:<br /><br />* 51 percent said "it is a good thing for society that more people are<br />marrying for the first time at older ages." Only 4 percent said it was a bad thing.<br /><br />* I've seen lots of blogs from stay-at-home dads (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">SAHDs</span>), usually touting the benefits thereof. I would have thought that there was a growing acceptance of the practice. That's not what the researchers found. They found that 20 percent of women thought stay-at-home dads were a bad thing for society, the same number who said that 10 years ago. In fact, more men (23 percent) said it was a bad thing than women, a figure I found fascinating. (Almost 40 percent of women said more fathers staying at home so their wives could work full-time was a good thing, compared to only 32 percent of men who said that.)<br /><br />* On the importance of both mom and dad, 69 percent tended to agree with the following statement: <em>"If someone says a child needs a home with both a father and a mother to grow up happily, would you tend to agree or disagree?" </em>But there was a pretty big difference among men and women on the question: 78 percent of men tended to agree, and 61 percent of women tended to agree. Looked at another way, more than a third of women tended to disagree that a child needs a home with both a father and a mother to grow up happily.<br /><br />* What's the best age to get married? The answer differed when talking about brides vs. grooms. Only 14 percent said 30-or-over was the ideal age for a woman to marry, while 27 percent said a man should be 30 or older. In fact, more women (30 percent) said a man should be 30 or older than men (24 percent). <br /><br />* Opposition by women to gay couples raising children has declined in the last decade, dropping from a majority of women opposed (56 percent) in 1997 to 42 percent in the current poll. (I don't have any stats to back this up, but I'm willing to bet that gay couples who adopt or otherwise have children tend to be older than their male-female counterparts.) More men in the recent poll said they opposed gays raisng children (59 percent), but the researchers did not provide previous results for men as the did for women.Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-49670566809003785672007-06-19T14:54:00.000-04:002007-06-19T15:35:46.937-04:00Kick back and do a little readingAnother Father's Day come and gone - and with it goes the one time of the year where you can count on an abundance of coverage about fatherhood issues. There were lots of good stories in our pages and elsewhere. I wanted to point out some interesting reads for older parents, the best of what I could find from the Father's Day coverage. I should point out that I thought the overall coverage was good, with a little bit less of the cliched caricature of dads as the bumbling, emotionless, clueless shadow in the lives of their children.<br /><br />Here are some stories that I recommend related to older parenting:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/15/AR2007061502053.html">The Washington Post</a> ran a feature by Philip <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Lerman</span>, 51, whose son, Max, 5, is "on the spectrum" for autism, and how he is dealing with that. It's beautiful. Read it. Quoting:<br /><br />"As I confronted the possibility that Max was On The Spectrum, the strangest thought occurred to me: If he is, then so be it.<br />I adored this boy whose main utterance sounded something like '<a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/related-topics.html/Joseph+Biden?tid=informline" target="">Joe <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Biden</span></a> Go <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Baaden</span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Baaden</span>,' this child who called everything "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">baw</span>." Whatever he was, I would love him no less."<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Lerman</span> is the author of the recently released book <em>"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Dadditude</span>: How a Real Man Became a Real Dad."</em><br /><br /><a href="http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/4896197.html">The Houston Chronicle's</a> Claudia <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Feldman</span> wrote about "A new age in fatherhood," with a subhead that reads: "Ready to teach and to learn, men in their 50s are reaping the rewards of having children and say it's worth the risks." Includes a bit of discussion about the "mortality issue," i.e. of knowing you'll be getting elderly just as your kids hit their prime.<br /><br />And finally,<a href="http://www.slate.com/id/2168389/nav/tap3/"> Slate</a>, the online magazine, wrote a story about fatherhood's effects on a man's body and brain under the headline :"Stretch Marks for Dads." Read the story and you'll find out that "evidence is accumulating that pregnancy and parenthood leave their marks on men's bodies. Women are not the only ones who are built for parenting, and recognizing that is good for fathers and the rest of us, too."<br /><br /><br />Let me know if you've seen a good story that we should add to this list.Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33339047.post-33291715773372978792007-06-14T16:00:00.000-04:002007-06-14T16:20:41.386-04:00Happy Father's Day, y'allI hope y'all will check out this <a href="http://www.journalnow.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=WSJ/MGArticle/WSJ_BasicArticle&c=MGArticle&cid=1173351635214">really nice slide-show </a>we're running, consisting of 36 testimonials from readers about thier dads. Very good stuff here.<br /><br />My first post when I started this blog was of a Father's Day column I worte a few years ago, which I am reposting for the occasion.<br /><br />Enjoy the new ties, the cookouts, the ball games, or whatever makes the day special for you. I'm getting new tackle, and taking my son on his first fishing outing.<br /><br /><br />THE FATHER IN MY HEART<br />PAT GARBER<br /><br />A few weeks ago, I found a picture of my Dad that I had never seen.<br />It has quickly earned a special place in my heart.<br />I don't value it for the quality of the photograph. It's far too overexposed for that. There's so much light coming into the camera lens that most of the details have been completely washed out. My father's face is almost completely lost in a bright flash of white that almost overtakes the whole frame.<br />But there's enough detail to show that he has his arms wrapped around me and my brother Scott as we stare, blank-faced, into the camera, as we pose by a tree.<br />The picture was taken near the home where we lived, on the corner of West End Boulevard and Jarvis Street, in August 1964. I was 14 months old, my brother was 2, and my father was 46.<br />Eight years after that grainy black-and-white photo was taken, my father died.<br />I have few photographs of my Dad. I like this one the best because it's the only one that I know of that shows the loving bond between him and me.<br />I know that bond was there, nurtured over countless trips to Tanglewood and the Nature Science Center that was once in Reynolda Village. My Dad, my brother and I did many things together, and I considered him my best friend.<br />If we had known he would be gone when I was just 9, I'm sure more pictures would have been taken. As it was, Dad was our family's photographer. He's in precious few of the family photographs that fill several freezer bags at my mother's house.<br />He was usually behind the lens, preferring to snap the picture instead of appearing in it. I still have the camera, part of the Kodak Retina Series of cameras, that he used in the last years of his life.<br />I'll be darned if I know how to use it. But I often wonder, as I look through its viewfinder, if we compose the world in the same way - as if I could look into this vastly changed world and somehow figure out some kind of universal truth that the two of us could see together that could be captured forever on film.<br />I'll never really know.<br />It's part of the mystery of losing a parent at such a young age.<br />Just as you could look at the picture and wonder about the ghostlike features that the sun erased 40 years ago, I can trace my life through time and wonder how things would have been different had my father been there for me beyond the nine years we spent together.<br />But I'll never really know.<br />I am a father, too. My son, Sean, is 3. Already, the pictures I have of the two of us could fill a freezer bag.Daddy G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01230715709040156360noreply@blogger.com0