Chapter III - My Daughter

My wife had a C-section on the morning of April 18.
Even that did not go out without a hitch.
Delaney had a defect in the way her umbilical cord connected to her placenta, known as Velamentous insertion. It is a relatively rare but potentially lethal defect in which the blood vessels could have ruptured and our baby could have bled to death. Fortunately our doctor noticed it right away, and our baby was born without any further complications. Although she was a month early, we expected her to weigh more than five pounds. Instead, she weighed only about 4 and a half. We were able to see her in the delivery room only briefly before she was whisked away to the NICU.

She seemed okay, but of course we worried. We sat in a recovery room while they worked on her one floor below us - I can remember sitting there watching Erik Estrada pitching real estate in Arkansas on TV, waiting anxiously for them to tell me I could visit our baby. When the moment finally came, I rushed to the NICU and knocked on the window. When the nurse looked up, I showed her my maternity ward security bracelet and said "My daughter's in there." We knew for months that we were having a baby girl, but we had always referred to her as "the baby" or the "little sister" or by one of the names we were thinking of calling her. This was the first time I had ever referred to her as my daughter, and it made me feel like a dad again. Not just an expectant father, but a dad.

She looked small and was having trouble breathing, but was otherwise healthy. Flanked by preemies much smaller than she was, she didn't even look that tiny. We weren't out of the woods, but finally there was some reason for optimism.

For Desiree, the ultimate moment came when our children touched for the first time.

"I came out of the operating room with a big belly and no baby," she says. "We tried to explain to Sean what had happened, but it was hard for him to understand. He kept asking 'When is my sister going to be born?' After four days Delaney was taken off of oxygen and we could take her to the NICU window so that Sean could see her. He could not touch her, but at least he knew he did have a baby sister.

After two weeks Delaney was released to go home. As the NICU door closed behind me, I went to my knees and gently placed the car seat that was holding our tiny baby on the floor. Sean was by his sister's side, introducing himself as 'big brother' and stroking her cheeks as gently as a fluttering butterfly. And yes, it was worth it many times over. Our family was complete."

Tomorrow: Our First Year

Photo: Delaney was shrouded in blue light during the first few days of her stay in the NICU.