Making the daddy-baby bond

Here's an article from Parenting Magazine with tips on how dads can bond with baby. It's written mostly from a woman's perspective - i.e. how do you get daddy involved? - but still, you may find the tips useful.

Can you be a hip dad over 40?

It has almost no relevance to my life, but I enjoy reading the insights by Washington Post blogger Jill Hudson Neal - "Still Me - The Cool Mom's Guide to Staying Hip."

And yet, she thinks she has problems? Try being a 43-year-old guy with two young kids. In my 20s I danced in Georgetown nightclubs and drank beer in fashionable Baltimore pubs. In college, I even had a new-music radio show. But as the years went on it became harder to be hip, and having kids, while a total blessing, didn't make it any easier. I knew I had crossed a signifianct hipness plateau when I relaized I couldn't name any members of Coldplay* but knew all the first names of The Wiggles. I don't think there's any going back at this point. I find some comfort in lyrics from Tower of Power (and if you're old enough to read this blog you're old enough to remember the band):

As you're striving to find the right road
There's one thing you should know
What's hip today might become passe'

Can I ever relate!

* For the record, the members of Coldplay are: Chris Martin, guitars, piano, voice; Guy Berryman, bass; Jonny Buckland, lead guitar; Will Champion, drums.

The last place I'd expect to see a parenting article

I'm used to seeing articles about the grandparent experience in AARP - The Magazine (which I can read at my mother's house). The latest issue has an article about post-50 parents. "What's it like to be changing diapers at 50?" it asks. Indeed. You can see the issue here.

Rachel Reich

Last week I had the sad duty to report on the death of Rachel Reich, who died at the age of 38 after a battle with cancer that lasted more than two years. I first met Rachel in the summer of 2005, when someone suggested I let people know about a fundraiser that was being held for her. It didn't take long to realize there was a larger story here. Her cancer was diagnosed not long after she found out she was pregnant with her daughter Siera. Rachel said her doctors suggested immediate treatment for the cancer but said the treatment would create risks for the unborn baby. She decided to wait on the treatment, fight the cancer with herbal remedies in the meantime, then fight the cancer all-out after the baby was born. She knew her decision would give the cancer time to spread, but she felt she was doing the best for her baby.

I probably heard more from readers about this story than any other since I've been at the Journal. There were some who disagreed with the way she fought the cancer and the way she spent the money she raised. But even most of those people said they appreciated the sacrifices she made for her family.

I had the chance to interview her several times, sometimes just over the phone, sometimes at her family's small house in Lewisville. Some of those interviews could be difficult - the cancer in her mouth made her difficult to understand, and she sometimes barely had enough energy to discuss her struggle. In those conversations - which usually included Journal photographer Jason Arthurs - she was very candid about how sick she was feeling but also how she felt she could fight on. Her boundless conviction that she was doing the right thing made you believe in her and pull for her.

Back on topic

I had a wonderful experience at the Orange Bowl, and rested if not quite tanned I'm ready to get back to the usual topic of conversation. I thought I would lay out a few ideas for what I'd like to do this year. Here are some of my thoughts, and if there's anything you would like to see not mentioned here, let me know.
In no particular order:

* Some financial issues came up last year about college expenses and how people often underestimate the costs. Those reports didn't take into account that many of us will be facing college at the same time retirement is upon us, so I'm hoping to get some ideas on how to balance that issue.

* We'll probably talk a lot about the emerging concept of a male biological clock, an idea that got a lot of attention last year as the genetic risks of advanced paternal age came to the fore. It's probably worthwhile to have a discussion on the folowing topic: " Is there such a point when old becomes too old?"

* I have only had one generation of kids, but I know a lot of older dads have done what's been called "re-fathering," having a second round of children as their first set gets older. We will bring some of those fathers into the conversation to see how it's different.

* I'm also this year going to be on the lookout for health news for older men. My goal is to lose some weight this year, and as someone who lost a parent young, I know we all want to be there for our children and be healthy enough to get the most out of being parents. (You'd think that's be execise enough!)

* I also plan to continue posting some of my own experiences with my two kids, Sean and Delaney, just as a way of keeping things kind of personal here.

Orange Bowl reflections

I awoke the morning of the OB on the floor of a balcony of the Westin Diplomat, where I had decided to take advantage of the 70-degree weather and the roar of the ocean to help put me to sleep. (With four of us guys in a two-bed room, I was bound to sleep on the floor anyway!) When I awoke at night, I could see the lights of the ships as they passed slowly during the night, and the sunrise over the Atlantic was truly awesome, a sight I will never forget. Not many people on the beach at 7:30 am as I ventured out to collect some seashells for my 6-year-old son, an avid nature collector. There was a lot of excitement in the lobby and later at the pool as fans continued to drift in and everyone got ready for the game.
The rain did a number on us tailgaters, but it seemed to end not long before the game got started. I thought we would be vastly outnumbered by Louisville fans, but it didn't seem that way. Wake's side was well-represented and, from where I sat, seemed to be the more enthusiastic. We stood almost the whole game and the pom-poms flashed in unison at the right times. Of course I would have liked the game to have turned out differently, but I felt the team and the fans handled the loss well. Very, very few Deacon fans left before the end of the game, and the team got a long standing ovation when came down to our corner to salute their supporters.
"Proud to be a Deacon" seemed to be a phrase coined for this moment. I hated to see it end.

I don't know where the energy comes from, but it's here

The first leg of the "do anything to be here" journey began at 12:10 am Monday, leaving Mocksville in a van with fellow travelrs Art, Don and Rob. It was dark and rainy, and scattered gunfire of New Year's revelers in Davie County accompanied our departure. We each took three-hour shifts of driving - mine was the 3:30 to 6:30 am shift, a dark-gray drizzly stretch through east Georgia, kept awake with the throbbing disco of the 70s station on satellite radio. We arrived at 1 p.m Monday, sunny and 80 degrees in Hollywood, Fla. , where it is flooded with Deacon fans.